1. Gentleman’s Executive Balls Scratcher – £9.95 – www.myredpacket.co.uk
For centuries British society has frowned upon the male sex’s most basic of needs: to scratch that itch. It’s just so barbaric, they say; not at all becoming of a gentleman! For fear of being cast out into the lower realms of society, the gentleman has been forced to suffer in silence. Never again! With this gift it is possible for you to liberate a stiff-upper-lipped gent, or socially elevate a manual ball-scratching prole. Would be greatly appreciated by those in student housing in Hyde Park who are always looking to get one-up on their Headingley counterparts.
2. Whiskey Bath and Shower Gel £7.99 – www.thepresentfinder.co.uk
At last, a whiskey bath or shower that doesn’t end in disaster! This is the perfect gift for the more hard-core student; for the type that considers the Otley run in Headingley to be a work-out.
3. Festival Weekend Survival Kit £7.99 – www.drinkstuff.com
Some people are crazy/lazy enough to just turn up at festivals bringing nothing with them but money for beer and overpriced hotdogs. They never learn. That’s why they need this gift.
4. Smart Glove – Touch glove for iPhone £9.99 – www.iwantoneofthose.com
Freezing cold hands + touch screen phone = fail. Warm gloved hands + touch screen phone = fail. Warm smart-gloved hands + touch screen phone = win.
5. Dusty Pup LCD Screen Cleaner – £9.99 – www.needapresent.com
Finally, something that is both cute and practical! This is a gift that is apt for anyone who owns a computer. I think we all know one or two people who fall into that category. Leeds student housing gets dusty in no time, and using the Dusty Pup is infinitely preferable to using a stinking sock.
6. Marmite Chocolate – £6.99 – www.firebox.com
Frankly, I love marmite. I also love chocolate. So, understand that it is from that position of bias that I declare this to be the greatest of all humanity’s achievements. I am aware that there are those of you who are likely to feel nauseous just from the thought of it, but if you know someone who feels as I do, and if there is any goodness in your heart, buy this for them this Christmas. They will love you forever.
7. Self-Stirring Mug – £9.95 – www.prezzybox.com
Students, by and large, are caffeine junkies. This arises from late nights and early mornings. It’s a social issue that needs to be tackled, but that’s going to happen by Christmas. There are also a good number of students for whom stirring their coffee is a chore. Even if you aren’t that lazy, there will be times when all the teaspoons are going to be left unwashed in the sink, because that’s how it is in student housing. A mug that does the stirring for you is typical of our falling civilization, but come on, we might as well enjoy its decadence while we can!
8. Gold Butterfly Earrings – £8.50 – www.lavender-room.co.uk
As awesome as all these gifts are, if there’s a woman in your life who you don’t want to anger this Christmas, it’s probably best to buy her a gift that’s a little more grown-up. These earrings are just a suggestion, and they meet the criteria of being under a tenner, but ultimately you know best what she would like.
9. Tattoo Arm Sleeves – £6.99 – www.presentsformen.co.uk
Tattoo sleeves are a great present to give to your more posh friends, so that when they go home for Christmas, their parents will be shocked by how Leeds student life has corrupted their child. You may not see the hilarity yourself, but you know it would be good.
10. Pizza Boss 3000 – £9.99 – www.cocktail.uk.com
Pizza is a staple food in the student diet. Whether you’ve got student housing in Burley, student housing in Headingley, student housing in Hyde Park, or anywhere else in Leeds, you’ll never be far from a takeaway. Takeaway, however, isn’t something you can do every night if you want to live frugally (or to see your 30th). Making your own pizza is fun, rewarding, and potentially a lot healthier. The best way to nudge someone in that direction is to buy them a Pizza Boss 3000, because if they have one, they’ll want to use it. This isn’t your standard pizza cutter; this is a BEAST!
Good luck finding the right presents this year! It’s never easy, so I hope you found this list useful. Merry Christmas!
Written by Let-Leeds very own trainee Father Christmas, Tom
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